Anonymous
I am lucky to have grown up in a fairly liberal place, such that it didn't occur to me until middle school that some people thought being queer was abnormal and different and something to be frowned upon. In fact, it didn't even seem a big deal at all to me, or anything worth labelling, until then, despite having had multiple teachers, friends, counselors, etc., that were queer over the years.
That being said, I never heard the term asexuality until ninth grade biology...in reference to how plants reproduce. It was another two years until I discovered the term in reference to sexuality, along with aromantic. They immediately struck a chord and resonated deep inside, at a level I had silently been struggling with for years, as peers began dating and discussing crushes while I silently spiraled in confusion over what that was, what it felt like, had I felt it? Was something wrong with me if I hadn't? Still, it took almost a year, taking online quizzes, diving deep into forums on TrevorSpace, for me to acknowledge and accept that I was, am asexual, even longer before I could admit that I was aromantic, a realization that made me cry, after a lifetime of reading books, watching movies, ensconced in a society enamored with romance and true love, that now felt like a promise broken and shattered on the ground.
I came out to my mom a couple months after, a moment that left me feeling intensely vulnerable for months after, even though she was completely and totally accepting and supportive; I was baring a deep part of my soul so deeply buried that I had only recently been able to see it for myself, and for someone with anxiety, that level of vulnerability and exposure is deeply uncomfortable. I am proud that I did though, and I am proud to be aro-ace, living my life authentically and fully.
