About Dating Disclosure and Staying Safe: A Guide for Families of Black Trans Youth

Introduction

This guide is for parents and caregivers of Black transgender youth. It’s here to help you support your child as they start to date and explore close relationships. Everything in this guide comes from real experiences — conversations with Black transgender youth, their families, and Black mental health experts.

We hope this guide helps families have open and honest conversations about dating, relationships, and how to share personal information safely. It’s grounded in real-life stories and expert advice and designed with one goal: to help your child build safe, healthy, and loving relationships.

Why This Guide Matters

Every young person deserves love, connection, and happiness—including Black transgender youth.

Dating and navigating new relationships can be tough for anyone, but for Black transgender youth, there may be added challenges of racism, transphobia, and even violence. There aren’t many guides made just for Black trans youth, their parents and caregivers. This guide was created to help fill that gap.

As a parent or caregiver, you have a powerful role. You can help your child feel safe, seen, and supported. This guide isn’t a set of rules. It’s here to help you understand, talk openly, and support your child as they make their own choices about love, safety, and sharing who they are.

How This Guide Was Created

This guide wasn’t created in a vacuum. It was created by listening to the Black transgender community. Over several months, we collected stories and feedback from three important groups:

• Five parents and caregivers of Black transgender youth (including mothers, fathers, and one female caregiver)
• Four Black transgender and gender-expansive youth, ages 16–20 (one trans feminine youth and three trans masculine youth)
• Three Black clinicians who work with gender-expansive youth (including a psychologist, a psychology associate, and a physician’s assistant)

They shared their thoughts and experiences through surveys and in-depth interviews on topics like:

• Dating, disclosure, relationships, identity, and staying safe as youth
• Supporting their child, helping with dating and relationships, and finding community as parents
• Barriers and bias within health care, disclosure, and consent with clinicians

The professionals we worked with included:

• Dr. David Goode-Cross – a Black psychologist
• Dr. Jamaal Hailey – a Black non-binary psychology associate
• Debb Dunn, PA-C, MBA – a Black lesbian physician’s assistant who works with transgender and nonbinary youth and adults

We also reviewed research about consent, trauma, dating, identity, and disclosure in transgender communities to make sure the guide is backed by science as well as lived experience.