The Next Big Coming Out: An Election Story

Perhaps you’ve been there — another late night swiping through headlines so dreadful they suggest we’ve slipped back to decades past, when dignity for people like us was the exception, not the rule. You know, people like us, who live under the pounding of a gavel — one that gives cover to homophobia and a litany of other “isms” meant to keep us powerless. Rights once codified in law are coming unbound. Executive orders reach into our most intimate places — a bedroom, an operating table, a bathroom stall — all under the guise of protecting people, when in truth they pit us against one another.

Still, we scroll. And like a lotus rising out of muddy water, a small glimmer of hope appears — this time in the form of a selfie video. A young person invites us into the most courageous moment of their life. There’s a trembling treble in their voice, their lower eyelids pooling, tears poised to cascade down their cheekbones.

It’s a coming-out story. Some are direct-to-camera proclamations. In others, the camera is an undisclosed bystander — like us, holding its breath while the braveheart awaits a reaction. Some reactions are good. Others are not. But with every frame, another member of our community stands taller and bolder in their truth. Sandwiched between menacing stories of tyranny and state-sanctioned pain, these videos are a quiet reminder: we have been here before, and we have always found our way out.

Since 1988, every October 11 has been National Coming Out Day. It was born on the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights, with Keith Haring’s figure dancing through an open door as its emblem. In the nearly 40 years since, the way out has never looked the same twice. Let’s rewind the tape.

Every generation found a louder way to say who we are. Once, coming out was something done to us. Today, we author it — frame by frame, post by post, tear by tear. But here’s the hard truth tucked between the hopeful ones: visibility has never been the same as protection. The laws that govern our bedrooms, our operating tables and our bathroom stalls aren’t written in a caption. They’re written by the people we elect.

Coming Out to Vote

HRC was born in 1980 on a simple bet: being seen would never be enough without votes standing behind it. More than four decades later, that bet is on the table again.

I imagine the teenager who mustered the courage for their first coming-out video stepping out once more — this time with a ballot in hand. I think of the parent who was invited in, who sat on the edge of the bed and chose love, voting with their child’s future on their mind. I count every ally who had a change of heart because someone they loved found the courage to tell the truth.

Picture it: a line wrapping around a school gymnasium on a Tuesday morning. A mail-in ballot resting on a kitchen table beside a cooling cup of coffee. A first-time voter’s hand, sure and steady, filling in the bubble.

Coming out was always about refusing to be invisible — and there is nothing more visible than all of us turning out at once. One selfie video can move a heart. And millions of us at the polls can move a statehouse, the House of Representatives — and one day soon, the White House.

Governors, attorneys general, state legislators, school board members — they are deciding whether our families are recognized, whether our kids get care, whether our lives are protected or punished. Many of those races will be decided by margins smaller than a single viral video’s view count.