Children of Gay Parents in the Military
Q: Dear Sharra,
My daughter will be reporting for Army soon. When my partner and I went to visit her recruiter yesterday, I introduced us as her Moms. It's just so natural for us after 12 years together. But they called her right after our meeting and told her they "were caught off guard" by this. Can these cause problems for her?
Thank you,
Shanana
A: Shanana,
Your visit with your partner to the recruiter should not cause problems for your daughter. Having lesbian and gay friends and family, or "association with known homosexuals" is no longer in and of itself a basis for investigation or discharge.
The regulations state, "credible information does not exist when...[t]he only information known is an associational activity such as going to a gay bar, possessing or reading homosexual publications, associating with known homosexuals, or marching in a gay rights rally in civilian clothes. Such activity, in and of itself, does not provide evidence of homosexual conduct."
Despite the regulations, however, co-workers and commanders may be likely to become suspicious that the service member is gay if they know a service member has gay friends or family. This can lead to harassment and intensified command scrutiny in an attempt to find a reason to investigate or discharge a service member.
If you daughter has any problems with the recruiter or her command, please have her contact Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN). SLDN provides free, confidential legal services to service members affected by the policy and we can assist her.
Sincerely,
Sharra E. Greer
Greer is the legal director of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network.
Aug. 8, 2003