Can You Take Medical Leave to Care for Someone Technically Unrelated to You?
Can you take medical leave to care for someone technically unrelated to you?
Q: My partner and I have been together for five years. In that time, I have become extremely close to her mother, who, unfortunately, has become fatally ill. My partner is in college and works part time. She changed her work hours to casual status and has filled out the proper forms for family medical leave.
My questions are: Can I take a family medical leave, as well? My employer does not offer same-sex insurance but incorporates a nondiscriminatory policy regarding sexual orientation. How can I approach human resources regarding this issue?
Thank you,
Jennifer
A: Dear Jennifer,
As close as you are to your partner's mother, the federal Family and Medical Leave Act does not cover our families or your situation. However, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't make your best case to your employer. Follow the standard process for making a request for leave. You might need to start with the human resources department - but that might not be your last stop. Make sure you are armed with a copy of your employer's anti-discrimination policy. Be willing to provide any reasonable documentation they may seek regarding your relationship - evidence that you live together, share expenses, etc.
If the human resources reject your request, take it to the top. It's possible you'll be the first employee who has ever asked for such a ruling. Often, a waiver such as the one you're seeking can only come from the CEO or the No. 2 executive. Don't be afraid to try. Just make sure you are reasonable in your approach, professional and not confrontational. If you make a logical case that your relationship deserves to be treated the same as those of your married colleagues, you have a good chance of a positive outcome. If your employer points out that federal law doesn't mandate the same leave privileges, calmly note that federal law also doesn't protect you from anti-gay job discrimination. It's only because your employer is forward-thinking and fair that you have a non-discrimination policy.
Good luck, and hello from all your old pals at HRC!
Kim I. Mills
Mills is HRC's education director and oversees HRC WorkNet.
Feb. 15, 2001